A Quick Note On Terminology 📄
“God”, “Universe”, “Divine”, “Infinite”, “Creator”, “Cosmos”, “Allah”, “Love”, “Higher Power”. These are all terms used to describe a similar concept — that there is something higher than all of us, a framework we’re operating in that we don’t (yet) understand. I’m going to use the word “God” here to describe this. If that rubs you the wrong way, just substitute in a more palatable term. In short, don’t miss the message because of the vocabulary.
The Life Lesson I’ve Struggled With — Giving 🎁
Talk to any successful person or read any book on success and you’ll likely touch on a common topic — giving. I’ll confess this is something I’ve struggled with my entire life and I’m still not where I want to be. The thought process is something like: “If I’m chasing financial independence, how does it make sense to give away time & money?”. That’s scarcity-thinking — there’s only “so much” and I need to hoard as much of that limited supply as I can. In our world economy that’s based on money & material possessions, this is the mindset that often prevails. And, unfortunately, it’s been my mindset for most of my life.
Giving has been something that’s hard to wrap my head around. I’m still learning that it’s critical to success and, more importantly, to happiness. On this journey I’ve noticed something surprising: for all the self-help education and resources available on success, many cover the importance of giving, but they completely neglect the bigger picture. And in doing so, they’re missing a critical component; the component required to make “giving” work for you.
The Bigger Picture: Abundance — Giving and Receiving 🌅
The opposite of scarcity-thinking is abundance-thinking. The abundance mindset sees the world as having an endless supply and plenty for everyone. Abundance-thinking reveals a much larger economy of which our world economy is only a subset — God’s economy. God’s economy encompasses much more. It includes the entire universe, things known and unknown, the seen and unseen, happiness and sadness, good and bad, etc. It recognizes that we’re all connected. It is cyclical/reciprocal in terms of “what comes around goes around”. It is also, at times, seemingly unfair. And while we may not understand this framework entirely, there are principles/rules/truths that we can harness even though we may be ignorant to “how” they work. A full discussion of this is far beyond the scope of this article, but I want to cover a couple that are relevant here.
Principle 1: Abundance is a flow. It requires both giving and receiving.
Abundance isn’t a transaction or one-way path. We’re not the source nor are we the destination. Abundance is a flow and it flows through us. It’s part of the magic & mystery of God’s economy. For the flow to work, we must be able to give AND to receive. Only having one or the other blocks the flow of abundance.
Think of abundance as water flowing through a garden hose. If either the inlet or outlet side is blocked, the flow stops.
Giving
Probably for most people, giving is what first opens the abundance flow.
Principle 2: Giving always comes back to the giver, often tenfold.
It’s the weirdest thing, but I’ve seen it firsthand and so have many others. Try it, you’ll be amazed. It opens an entirely new world of possibilities and personal happiness. I’ve included some of my personal experiences at the end of this article.
NOTE: While the principle “works” even if you give just to get, the benefits are significantly diminished. To experience true abundance, your motives should be focused on the greater good, not yourself.
Principle 3: Humans are hard-wired for generosity.
Giving can be very gratifying because humans are hard-wired for generosity. Unfortunately, what we’re often taught is greed. While greed ultimately leads to unhappiness and isolation, giving leads to the opposite.
“The only path to happiness is to systematically give yourself away.” -Andy Stanley
Giving can take many forms, not just financial: volunteering, serving, listening, encouraging, enabling, and much more. Similarly, the benefits of giving take many forms other than financial: happiness, contentment, friendship, peace.
Receiving
As mentioned above, giving is probably what first opens the flow of abundance for most people, but receiving can as well. Think of outreach efforts that provide food, clothing, shelter, education, etc. When you get a helping hand, it’s natural to want to “pay it forward”. Many people struggle with receiving as much or more than giving. Personally, I’ve struggled with both.
There are a number of reasons people are often reluctant to receive:
- The “DIY” Stubbornness: We want to solve our own problems and make our own way.
- Debt-Aversion: We don’t want to “owe anyone anything.” Accepting help can make us feel indebted.
- Worthiness: We often don’t think we’re worthy of receiving good fortune.
But, receiving is just as important as giving. As discussed above, abundance is a flow; if one end is blocked, the flow is hampered. Receiving also opens our hearts to giving; when we receive a helping hand, it’s natural to want to “pay it forward”. Finally, receiving is enabling someone else’s giving — you’re allowing abundance to flow through them. Don’t deny someone else their opportunity to serve you.
Personal Examples – Giving Always Comes Back 👪
Here are two recent examples of the flow of abundance in our lives. These are real-life, recent occurrences of Principle 2: Giving always comes back to the giver.
Example 1
A couple years ago, Mrs. FIcology and I were given free tickets to a fund-raising dinner for the local Dream Center. The Dream Center provides immediate relief to families as well as services to lift people permanently up out of poverty. We came prepared to give $100 or so. But in the moment and after some internal struggling, we upped it to $500. I remember Mrs. FIcology looking worriedly at me and me responding “it’ll be fine”.
About 2 weeks later, a friend walked up to us at church and said “Hey, I’ve got something for you.” He got out his wallet and gave us a check for $500. Months earlier Mrs. FIcology’s car was repaired from hail damage at our friend’s shop. He explained that his shop covers the customer’s insurance deductible and because of that we were owed $500 – EXACTLY the amount we just gave to the Dream Center!!! He had no idea we had just given that exact amount away; he was just following through on a business policy he’d forgotten to tell us about. Coincidence? I think not!
Example 2
Our son came home from college for Xmas break and informed us he’s planning to drive his 13-year-old, 120k-mile car to Texas to spend time with his girlfriend’s family between Xmas and New Years. This is worrisome to us, especially Mrs. FIcology, for obvious reasons. A breakdown would leave him roadside for hours before we could get help to him.
Mrs. FIcology and I sponsor a child in Sri Lanka through Compassion International. While cleaning up my desk the next morning, I found some correspondence prompting us to write a letter to our sponsored child. While doing that online, I saw the option to give extra to both her and her family for Xmas. After some internal struggle debating this (our current finances have taken some unexpected hits) I decided to just do it. The gift would mean so much more to them than to us.
About an hour later, Mrs. FIcology messaged me. She had asked a coworker whose husband is a retired pilot if she knew of any way to get a cheap airline ticket for our son to avoid risking him driving alone cross country in his older car. Turns out her husband has a surplus of flyer miles and they insisted that they give the necessary miles to our son. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we received this generous gift shortly after deciding to give to our sponsored child. This is how God’s economy works. I can’t explain it, but you can count on it.